Game of Thrones – No One

game of hrones no none review

This post may not follow the actual way that the show was edited, but I think that writing about each of the location/character sets is far easier to follow.

The Hound is on the march, catching a few of the Bannerless men joking about in the forest poking their fingers in each others bums – JOKES! The Hound is a man of action, not talk and besides his killing of the 4 men the most interaction he has is telling one that he is shit at dying. Now this is where things could have gotten interesting – apparently this is about where Lady Stone Heart (the resurrected Caitlyn Stark) could have appeared in the TV series but it seems that this is skipped over. The Hound meets the Bannerless Men, including Beric, kills off the men who have gone against the morals of the group and we are done with. Overall the Hounds scenes have been awesome with that mix of humour and the sheer brutality that only a Clegane can bring to Westeros.

The Blackfish is refusing to give up, even with Brienne arriving with Pod to try and settle things quickly. So Jaime gives Edmure a talk about what is going to happen – that he is going to kill anyone and everyone, including Edmure’s baby in order to get back to Cersei. Edmure takes his own castle back just to hand it over to Jaime and the Freys. The Blackfish, despite saying that he will fight for his family’s honour, then goes to try and one on one a few people and ends up dead – off screen! One of the strongest new characters and they kill him off screen, what a pointless exercise. Brienne and Pod escape via the river, Jaime notices but doesn’t care – I have a feeling that there will be a love/death duel between those two sometime between the series ends.

The interactions between Missandei, Grey Worm and Tyrion are some of the most painful things of recent memory – yes, that includes Dorne. They seem unable to hold a conversation with one another and sure it is meant to show this difference of culture, but wow is it awkward to watch. The Slavers have returned to Mereen to get what they own back and instead of diplomacy they have started with all out war. Oh no, what are we going to do? Ah, perfect timing for Dany to arrive on dragon-back, who will make short work of the ships, I assume. I am just thankful that we didn’t have to go through another speech of hers again this week to tell us all how she is going to unite everyone…

Tommen killed Cleganebowl for now..The Faith tried to manhandle Cersei to which she didn’t take well. Instead she chose violence and had the Mountain-Zombie tear the head off of one of the Faith bully boys – tough luck lads. Anyway, Cersei seemed to think that things were going well for her, that is until she found out that there was an announcement to be made by Tommen. Little Tommen says that Cersei and Lancel will soon be tried for their crimes and not just that, but the brutish practice of trial by combat has been outlawed, ouch Cersei..Now she will have to face the consequences of her actions, something that she hasn’t been used to at all and all the while I can see Margaery in the background pulling the strings on Tommen.

For a group of what may be the most dangerous assassins in the realm The Faceless Men aren’t great at getting rid of what is essentially an unpaid intern. Whilst Arya was bleeding profusely from her stomach – I’m a Psychologist not a doctor of medicine, but I assume that isn’t Game of throne no one reviewgood – just an episode ago, she is now resting up with Lady Crane speaking and seemingly recovering at an incredible speed. The Waif turns up in some sort of horror movie trope with movement in the background and shadows cast and takes Lady Crane’s life. Arya wakes to the bang in the kitchen and finds Crane dead, to which the Waif says something along the lines that she needn’t have died in pain. What?! The scene was literally a bang, not a yell or a scream, that was it…Arya then channels her inner John Connor/T-800 hybrid and gets running through the streets if Braavos being very clear that this what is happening – WHAT HAPPENED TO BEING FACELESS? Anyway after the inevitable chase by the T-1000 through the streets causing chaos we are shown the face-off (see what I did there?). Arya tells sexy Jesus that she is going home and he’s all like, whatevs.

I am loving the action of this episode and the season in general, but now that it is off-book I feel that a lot of the story lines are getting rushed and closed too swiftly, it just feels like the writers are trying to close out the series too quickly or something – what are your thoughts?

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